Monday, February 18, 2013

My Happy Day

If someone were to ask me to name the 5 happiest days that I've ever had, my answer would be without hesitation:

1.  The day I moved back home to WA after living in UT for four years, and the summer to follow.
2.  The day that Will proposed to me.
3.  The day I married my best friend in the Portland LDS Temple for eternity.
4.  The day Preston was born.
5.  The day Taylor was born.

Yes, I have had many other happy days besides those, but these 5 are really standouts or me.

I have found myself reflecting on #1 lately.


Well, I suppose it's because it was a time in my life when I truly did feel happy.  Sometimes when I am not feeling so happy, I reflect back to #1 and it helps me figure out how to get that happy back.

2013 has not been the best or easiest year for me so far.  Poor Will has felt sorry for me all too often as he's seen me go through some really crappy stuff.  After having such an amazing year in 2012, it's been a little disheartening to experience 2013 so far.

I suppose I deserve it - after having such a great year last year.

I've deal with super sick kids this year, on multiple occasions. And not just sick kids, but Will and I have both had our fair share of sickness as well.

There have been MANY, many, many opportunities for my music that I've either submitted to and been rejected, or not heard back from, or taken advantage of, and more.  There have also been some awards that I was being considered for that did not end up working out - one of which was a BIG one (eh hem Grammy) that sort of crushed my confidence.  I don't really want to go into how hard I worked for that, and how my album took me 4 long years to create and so when people say "You can try again next year!" it really just makes me want to cry.

I also had a big mucho big project for my music that needed a certain synchronization license for, which I got a denial on.  I cried for 2 days about that.  (And most of you probably have no idea what a sync license is - no matter. Just know that it was a big deal, I went to the highest up people at Universal Publishing about it, even talked with the film composer himself and I was still denied).

I've also struggled to lose more weight and keep trying and failing, trying and failing, etc.  My biggest motivation to lose more weight is so we can have another baby, and so the longer it takes me to lose weight the longer we put off having a baby....and ya all just sort of starts to play negative mind tricks on you after a while! "Why can't you just do it already?" or "You are a failure" have often lurked around the inside of my brain on many occasions.

There's more. Even Will has had some crappy stuff happen to him.  It's almost gotten to the point where we just look at each and laugh, because there's not much else to do and not much else that could possibly be worse.


Before you start to feel too sorry for me here, there is ONE thing that I am very very good at.  It's that I am actually super good at finding SOLUTIONS to problems!

I really am.  When I'm hit down, I don't stay down for long because I refuse to accept defeat.  I don't like taking no for an answer.  My mind is always thinking of ways to fix whatever problem it is, or how to find a different way to accomplish something.

I. Don't. Give. Up.

This morning as I was working on that weightloss goal at the gym and burning calories away while speed walking on a treadmill and listening to my workout playlist mix, I reflected back to Happy Day #1.

And I often do, because I actually feel sunshine in my soul when I think of that day.

Do you want to know why?  Here's why:

Flashback:  Spring of 2003, I was living in Salt Lake City, UT and had been living there and/or Provo area for the 4 years up until then.  For the last 2 years (2001 - 2003), I had been dating a guy.  I suppose you could say we were pretty serious.  We both worked at eBay together, but in different departments.  I could see the top of his head in a distant cubicle on the other side of the building from where I sat.

We spent almost every day together both at work, and then after work.  He was a Mormon as well, but I wouldn't say he was the stellar type of Mormon guy I had always hoped I would date.  In the two years that we dated, I found myself on a spiraling spiritual decline.  In the beginning, it was me lifting him up. I thought I could change him, and I did, actually.  He started going to church again, and got rid of his bald head/goatee and started looking a little more clean cut.

(Okay you are going to get to see photos of me with my exboyfriend, of whom I have NEVER shared here on our family blog before, so here ya go...I admit, a bit painful to look at. Don't get me wrong, he's really a good guy and this is ALL in the past, but still)...

But through it all, I came down a lot in my standards on many things.  And after 2 years of dating him, I found I was a bit disconnected with friends, I was not as spiritually strong as I used to be, and I had also gained like 30 pounds. No joke.

At the time though, I did not realize that I had become a worse version of myself.  It had all happened so slowly, it wasn't until the Spring of 2003 when I was sitting in my cubicle at work one day, staring at his head from across the workplace in a far off cubicle, and realizing that I was not happy.  I wasn't happy with myself, my life, my dating relationship or anything really.  Why was I working at eBay when I loved music?  Was I just going to live in UT forever?  Why?  Why was I there anyway?

It took me about 2 weeks of serious contemplation to realize I no longer wanted to be there.  I was homesick for my family in Washington.  And once I realized this, the decision was SO easy.

I emailed my mom and told her that I was thinking about moving back home to Washington.  I didn't even really have to explain why before she wrote back and said she had a feeling about it, and she knew it was the right thing for me to do.  My biggest worry though, was that after living on my own since I was 18 that it would be incredibly pathetic to move back home with my parents at 25 years of age.  I still remember my mom's funny answer though - having something to do with the fact that it was okay since I was a girl, but if I were one of my brothers it would not be okay. Haha.

The next day I gave my work a 2 week notice.  I gave my roommate a 2 week notice, and we gave our apartments a notice to vacate (she was moving as well).

But as for the boyfriend....well....I have never really been very good at breaking up with guys.  I didn't exactly break up with him. I just figured that moving to Washington over 1,000 miles away would be a no-brainer:  Duh, we can't date anymore because I'm 4 states away kind of thing.

I still remember the day that I left Utah.  My mom and Grandma had come to UT to help me move, and we had a pickup full of my belongings (I'm amazed that all my belongings fit in a truck), and my car was filled with my junk as well.  I met my boyfriend in the church parking lot as we were about to drive off, and we said our goodbyes. I remember being so happy and just wanted to leave already, as he stood there incredibly sad, practically crying and not wanting to let me go.

It was the longest goodbye ever and I just wanted it to end already.

Our 14 hour hour drive to Seattle was gleeful as I munched on M&Ms with one foot up out the window as I drove my VW Jetta across UT, ID, OR, and finally WA.  I had a lot of time to reflect and think about things, and I knew I had made the right decision to move home.

Here's where we get to the HAPPY part of this story...

We had arrived home to my parents house late in the evening, and my parents helped me unload everything out into the garage.  We had dinner, they got me situated into my bedroom - which I might add, was a brand new house for me because they had moved while I was away. So I had never lived in this home before.

The next morning was my happy day.

I woke up around 6:00 that morning because the sun was so bright and peeping in through the blinds into my room.  I was SO excited to be home, I decided to get up. And I NEVER get up that early unless I have to. So this was new for me. I got dressed and went outside to catch the view.  My parents live on an island, and at that home they were living in - if you step outside onto the deck or onto the front driveway you can see a view of the ocean, the surrounding islands, and the cascade mountains.

I remember seeing the ocean which was SOO incredibly blue and so beautiful, with the sun shining down on me, and having this feeling of absolute elation and total utter happiness. I could not stop smiling.  And so then I decided I would wash my car since it had just driven over 1,000 miles.  So I got the bucket out, put some soap in it, got the hose out and washed my car.  Then I decided I would also wash both of my parents cars as well as my Grandma's truck.

Two hours later, my Dad comes outside and is like "What are you doing washing your car at like 7 in the morning??".  I told him I couldn't sleep any more and that I was so excited to be home I just had to get up and come outside.

As time went by that summer, I got to spend a lot of time with my parents and I got in the habit of family prayer again, reading my scriptures, going to church and having it actually be meaningful for me.  I also worked out faithfully everyday with my Dad (whom at the time was going to school to get his certification in personal training).  It was literally like a place of ReHab for my spirit and body.

By the end of the summer, I had lost 30 pounds and felt fantastic.  I felt reconnected to God and very spiritually strong.  I felt confident.

And many of you know the rest of the story....that Fall is when I met Will online.  He and his guy buddies had taken a scuba diving trip to the San Juan Islands, and on their way back to Portland Will had the distinct impression that he needed to come back. He didn't know how or why though since he didn't know anyone from the area. So when he got back to Portland, he joined an LDS dating website and set his search criteria SPECIFICALLY to find a girl who lived on an island near the San Juans.

And who did he find?  Yep. Me.  And the rest, is as they say, history :)

I often think about that summer and moving back home.  That summer was literally a ray of sunshine for me in my life at that time.  I have such wonderful memories of it. Not only just getting back in shape spiritually, but also all the mornings getting up at 5:45 to workout with my Dad. He and I bonded a lot that summer!  I don't think I had ever felt so close to my Dad as I did from that experience.

(on board the ship that was in the Pirates of the Caribbean for a private tour- with my parents - a very happy day!)

(Spending some time with my little brother, after he just got home from his mission)

And to think, if I hadn't of followed my impressions to move back to WA....I may have never rehab'd spiritually and physically, I most definitely wouldn't have met Will (most likely), and who knows. I may have married the wrong guy (because another part of the story I did not tell was that he actually came to WA several times and had intended to propose).

So now, as I've been battling a really terrible year so far, I found myself this morning reflecting back to the Summer of 2003 when I made a decision to change my life.  Ironically, right now as I battle my "weight", I am the exact weight that I was when I moved home from UT and so it feels like I'm right back there again starting over.  And as I deal with issues relating to my struggles with food (an eating disorder that I have never told anyone about, save my husband and my parents and few close friends), I find myself also on a journey of spiritual ReHab as I realize that my problems can only be overcome with the help of God - who can help us overcome all things (and a personal trainer to help me - haha).

And so it is, I reflect back on a similar time in my life when I was able to overcome and it gives me great hope and happiness. :)  The End.

P.S. I want to say that the guy I dated really is a good guy!  I don't mean to discredit him.  But at the time and phase of life I was in, it just wasn't a good match for many reasons, obviously. He is now happily married with two beautiful little girls.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

A Lazy Post

My mom sent me an email the other day that said "Hey, Dad checks your blog everyday since he doesn't do Facebook, and you haven't posted in over a month!"

Eh hem.

So I'm going to be lazy and post my facebook updates from the past little while since apparently I am better at Facebooking than blogging lately.  This is for YOU Dad!

Jan 13:

All right 2013. You may have whipped my butt the first 2 weeks with stomach flu and the worst cold ever, but TOMORROW I'm making a comeback. Tomorrow is my Jan 1st and I'm ready to start my list of resolutions to make 2013 an awesome year.

First on the list is managing my time better.

- Be at the gym at 9am when the daycare opens. Not at 10:30 like in the past. 
- Utilize 11am - 12pm practicing piano and violin DAILY.
- Taylor's naptime is strictly at 1pm, NOT 2pm (the kid has been staying up so late!)
- I will make time to make healthy food.

It's not much, but it's a great start - all encompassing exercise, healthy eating, skill growth, healthy kids, and more.

Jan 14:

I was hoping my boys would be feeling better today so I could hit the gym. But nope. Excessive coughing, runny noses and more. Oiye. So instead I'm going to try a workout dvd. I haven't done one of those in a loooooooong time. Hoping there is room enough in my bedroom to pull this off! LOL

And then I posted these:

Jan 14 - Preston's cookie recipe that he drew:

Jan 14:

How did I do on my goals today?

- Gym by 9am. This was a no-go because kids were sick, BUT I did a DVD workout from home. So I did get my workout in, on time.

- Practice piano 11am - I had a phone call at that time, and so I missed my window, BUT I did practice from 4:30pm - 5:30pm, so it still got done.

- Taylor naptime at 1pm - DONE.

I also:

- Read scriptures and prayed first thing this morning,
- Made a weekly calendar
- Created a motivational board
- Washed bedding (my goal is to make Mondays Sheet -washing day).

NOT that you all cared or wanted to know that, but I'm pretty happy I stuck to most of my goals. Not perfect, but will do even better tomorrow.

Jan 14:

Just finished re-watching season 1 of Downton Abbey. Now I can finally catch up on Seasons 2 & 3.

Jan 15:

Well thank you US bank, for letting me know that some sorry chap in Taipei, Taiwan decided to use our credit card 3 times this morning to buy from a sugar factory.

Jan 15: (this was in regard to a music project)

Sometimes if you want something done, you've just got to do it yourself.

Jan 15:

Apparently, according to my husband, I am the last person on the earth to hear that Lance Armstrong used PED's. I asked Will "Did he get all of his Tour de France winnings taken away?!" and he said laughing, "Uh, yeah. Like a LONG time ago."

I need to read the news more.

Jan 15: (in regard to previous post about doing things yourself)

I do believe that my husband and I have thought of a brilliant business idea that involves both of our passions. Oooooooh weeeee. No I will not tell you what it is.

Jan 16:

Is the question "Why?" just a reflex from my children after everything. single. thing. I. Say? I don't even think the 2 year old knows what it means, but he sure knows how to use it.

Jan 16:

Ok whomever shared this blog link on facebook, I can't find you for some reason as it's not showing on my feed anymore. But I just spent the last half hour reading this woman's blog and it's AMAZING. Thank you facebook friend whomever you are.

Jan 16:

I have a friend who started a fan group for me. Perks are early releases, info, sneak peeks, and more. If you would like to join, you can go here:

Jan 16:

So, pushing a shopping cart down an aisle in the grocery store, you would assume most people push on the right side being that this is America and we drive on the right side of the road. Right? Or am I crazy? It always bugs me when I'm going down an aisle, on the right side, and someone turns into the aisle who clearly sees me and comes right towards at me on my side, and clearly expects me to be the one to move over. I'm too nice so I usually do, but it SO irritates me.

This also happens with walking/jogging - but in that case there actually is a LAW that pedestrians are required to walk on the side facing traffic. So when a jogger comes towards me on the wrong side of the road and expects me and my 2 young children to move over into traffic so they can get by, I really get irritated as well.

In other news, I went to Costco and there is now food in my fridge. :)

Jan 17:

2:50am and just finished working on the newly revised artwork for The Lullaby Album (my 2nd album that I produced with my mom after Preston was born). (We are converting from jewel case to digipak, and giving the look a makeover). It's coming along. Creating CD artwork is a lot of work. Hours and hours and hours.

P.S. The cover art is an old painting that hung on the wall of the guest bedroom at my Grandmother's home for years. The baby in pink is actually my mother around 18 months old. The b&w pics are of my boys, Will, and I and there is one in there of my Mom & preston as a baby too.

Jan 17: So in love with these bugs of mine:

Jan 17th:

I just have to say I'm feeling the love today. So grateful for so many of my music friends - loads of good things happening today. :) Warm fuzzies.

Jan 17th:  My nerd homework for the evening. I have a headache already. Probably because I'm trying to read it in French. ;p

Jan 17th: 

Tonight is a designated music night for me (meaning my husband plays with kids and makes sure I'm unbothered). But staying up until 3 a.m. this morning has caught up with me and I would much rather just go to bed. It's taking ALL my will to say no and dive into the music projects I need to get done.

Jan 18th:

I love working out. So great to be feeling well enough to sweat again. Huge smile pumped with endorphins here. :)

Jan 18th:

Just caught up on this week's episode of The Biggest Loser. I already worked out once today but man - now I'm all revved to do it again!

Jan 18th:

So, if you were a 1 year old, where would YOU hide a remote control? You know, the one that controls your ability to watch Downton Abbey or not.

Jan 19th:

I introduced this to my kids a couple of days ago, and now they request me to sing it and I can't even get "Peanut butter..." out before they bust out huge belly-laughs.

Jan 19th:

Apparently if you were doing push-ups a month ago, and then took a month off from the gym, and decided to start doing push-ups again, you can't.

Jan 20th:

Playing the organ is SO not the same as playing the piano. Just sayin'.

Jan 20th:

Just enjoyed a heavenly 2 hour walk with Will while our boys slept in the double jogging stroller. Blue sky, crystalized snow at Rattlesnake Lake, and lots of great conversation about family, dreams, ideas, goals, love. Happy girl. Love you Will Thomas, you are my everything, forever.

Jan 21st:  Train station!

Jan 21st:

I have realized that one of my love languages toward my family is when I make food for them. I am not really the best cook, but I'm a pretty good baker. 

I've also realized that mealtime in our home makes me SUPER grumpy because my kids are such picky eaters, and throw out a lot of complaints about everything. 

I've been frustrated because our day will go perfect, and then lunch time or dinner time comes and I'm in a bad mood. 

The epiphany here is I've been serving unrequited love. LOL

So if anyone can suggest a great book, or recipe book, or even personal experience on how they got their own picky-eaters to change their ways....comment away. You just might save my sanity.

Jan 21st:  First time bowling with the kids, and our 2 year old got more strikes than anyone LOL. (4 photos)

Jan 22nd:

Skipping my normal gym time this morning, because I have been convinced to try a Zumba class this evening. So instead I am really enjoying the morning hours with my boys. So far we have raced cars, watched a cartoon, and had waffles (them, not me. I had a green smoothie).

Jan 22nd:

Just got some bad news in regard to a project I've been working on, and am trying to figure out how to get around it. I don't like taking no for an answer, but when it comes to a big company and I am just a small fish, the prospect seems a little daunting. :(

Jan 22nd:

I need your help with something - if you could all go to my YouTube channel and click "Subscribe" that would be amazing. I currently have a company who is viewing my channel to see if it meets a certain criteria, and having more subscribers would help immensely. Thank you!

Jan 22nd:

You would think as a musician, I would have moves. But I don't. I have no rhythm when it comes to moving my body. I am a Zumba failure I'm afraid. BUT I have to say, women doing zumba look ultra sexy doing it and I WILL LEARN it. Going again Saturday morning.

Jan 23rd:  Trying to get my boys outdoors as much as possible. Cold, but beautiful morning at Snoqualmie Falls.

Jan 24th:

Preston was ecstatic to get to finally go to PreSchool this morning for the first time in a month. So proud of that little guy. I can't believe this Fall he will be a Kindergartner!

Jan 24th:

Having a phone meeting this afternoon with this talented Jilliard trained baritone to plan some collaborating for his debut album. (link in status)

Jan 24th:

Why no, I have no idea where my mom's red heels are.

Jan 24th:

Here is something of a coincidence: I am only a few likes away from 5,000 fans here, and only a few subscribers away from 500 on my YouTube channel. Good things must come in 5's. :)
I have not really ever promoted my YT channel because it's only had behind-the-scenes, or concert footage. But this year is going to be the year of Music Videos for me. I will be releasing THREE by summer. Please subscribe to my YT channel here:

Jan 26th:

The last week was not the greatest for me, but what could be better than spending Friday night with my BF Erika Pehrson Nisbetwhile our husband were out of town - dining on yummy strawberries, chocolate, fancy cheeses, fondue, gormet steak and watching chickflicks while our boys played together. It was pretty nice. :) And now the hubby is back and I'm even happier. Here's to a great weekend. Ciao!

Jan 26th:

Had a dream I was skiing. Realized how fun it is and how I've missed it. #WhistlerNostalgia — with Will Thomas.

Jan 27th:  Who? Oh just us redheads.

Jan 28th:

Kids are grouchy, fighting, hitting and teasing each other. Taylor has taken all my curlers out and thrown them around, and getting into everything. Can I please push the restart button on Monday morning?

Jan 28th:  New Music Blog Post

Jan 28th:

Oh. My. Goodness. Downtown Abbey Season 3 shocker tonight. My jaw still hasn't come up off the floor.

Jan 29th:

Ok so I did 30 min on the treadmill this morning, followed by 45 minutes of intense circuit training in the weight room, followed by abs. I'm pretty sore from it, yet I have this goal to be a sexy zumba dancer and Zumba is tonight at 7pm. Sexy Zumba Dancer tonight or PJs and The Bachelor on ABC? Tough choice.

Jan 29th:

Went to Zumba instead of skipping out (see earlier post). Totally worth it. I think if I keep this up I will actually gain some smooth moves.

Jan 30th:

Just turned down a licensing opportunity for my music because of the violent and disturbing nature of the film. Sometimes it's out of my hands where my music gets licensed, but when I do have the opportunity to decide - I really prefer to keep my music away from thrasher slice 'em and dice 'em flicks. Yuck.

Jan 31st:

I think I need some chocolate. Good thing I burned 650 calories at the gym this morning. Bad thing I may just eat it in chocolate.

Feb 1st:  Proof that I'm a mom: I stab my finger and the only bandaid I can find is of Woody and Buzz.

Feb 1st:

One of my best friend's husband just found out he has Lymphoma (cancer), and friends/neighbors have rallied to help out. If you would like to help out - I would love you for it and I know are already humbled by the outpouring of love.

Feb 1st: My first piano

Feb 1st:  What our boys will be doing this weekend:

Feb 2nd:

There are two radio shows featuring my music this evening. If you are home, you should turn them on and listen! These radio hosts are fantastic and the music they choose, well, what can I say - I'm honored to be on the roster.

Interlochen School of Arts Radio - 10pm Eastern

TEM-FM New Classical Crossover in New South Whales, Australia - - 10pm Eastern.

Sorry to make you choose! Both are equally great programs and my music will be featured on both! Cheers!

Feb 2nd:  Super Saturday underway. 2 hr. Rehearsal this morning, followed by Solo & Ensemble festival. Now off to awesome Glaziers Cameras in Seattle to look at film equipment. Then north to Camano Island to pick up our munchkins from G&G. Whew!

and then at G&G's house...

Feb 2nd:  Good night and sweet dreams. I mean that because if you'd had the weird dreams I've had for the past 3 days in a row...including my husband playing the cello for me on a balcony in Italy. Um yeah. Night.

Feb 3rd: 

I've got a sick little guy who just wants cuddles and snuggles :(

Feb 4th:

I was asked to be a guest blogger on author Alex Bledsoe's website. Alex has written several books including "Memphis Vampires", "Eddie LaCrosse", and more. He has asked me to share my thoughts about being both a recording artist and a mom and how I'm able to balance it all. I hope you enjoy the article!

Feb 4th:

Kids and I are all dressed and ready to go to the gym, only to find the carseats locked in Will's car and I have no key (he carpooled to work today). Seriously?! Really? Guess we will brave the cold weather and go for a walk in the stroller. Time to completely change all of our outfits....and another 30 min goes by. LOL

Feb 4th:

Wow, 7:53 p.m. and I'm ready for bed already. Too many nights staying up to 1 a.m. has caught me. Zzzzzzzzz...

Feb 5th:

Well good morning stomach flu. I guess I should have considered snuggling my sick 2 yr old for the fast few days just might get me sick too. Der.

Feb 5th:

Every. Muscle. In. My. Body. Hurts. I wish I could say it was from a super workout, but it's this awful thing called stomach flu. Thankful for my hubby and his willingness to work from home today so I could lay in bed like a wet noodle.

Feb 6th:

Dear 2013,

So far, you suck.


Feb 7th:

Wow. If I didn't already have a bad enough day yesterday, I spent most of last night cleaning up my children's barf and poop. Yep. If you don't hear from me for a while, it's because I'm on a beach in Mexico with no cell phone or a care in the world - LOL.

Feb 7th:

One of my favorite videos right now

Feb 7th:

The muse just might, MIGHT have finally poked his head in just long enough to give me a start on a song.

Feb 8th:

Conversation with my husband earlier:

Him: "Your butt is smaller."
Me: "What? No it's not, you're delusional."
Him: "I should know, I check it quite often."

This just proves that I no longer need a scale. I have a husband, and he comes with compliments. Awesome. :)

Feb 9th:

This is usually what happens in my music studio. And I just can't write music with those eyes. Oh the pressure!

Feb 9th: 

I've spent the last 3 days in my studio working on a new song - surviving on cold cereal and chocolate, with a driven muse on my shoulder until I get this piece finished. 

This new song is, in my opinion, God's little gift to me since thiswas the weekend I would have been at the Grammys if my album had received a nomination this year. It's my consolation prize. And a good one it is. I'm excited to share it with you guys soon - as it will be the replacement song for my Requiem video.

Feb 10th:  

Looks like we just might take a trip to New Orleans this May...I'm excited to tell you that I have been nominated for "Best Neo-Classical Album" at this year's ZMR Awards in New Orleans in May. The nominees for my category are the following:

"Illumination" - Jennifer Thomas
"Dreams of the Forest" - Marc Enfroy
"Islands" - Ludovico Einaudi
"The Day I Met Myself" - Kevin Keller
"The Piano Guys" - The Piano Guys

Feb 10th:

Watching the Grammy Pre-Telecast and rooting for my friendsArun ShenoyOkee Dokee BrothersOmar Akram. You guys got this.

Feb 10th: 

I came home from orchestra rehearsal tonight to a nice roaring fire (thanks hubby), and finding my little boys playing so nicely. Overload on cuteness!

Feb 11th:

I feel like I need to completely disinfect our entire house. Last week all four of us took turns with the stomach flu. Now today my stomach is hurting again and my 4 yr old just barfed. Seriously?! I suppose it's a sign that we are a very lovey touchy family or something? LOL

Feb 11th:

Wise words from a wise man:

'There are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.

Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is—downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment! To say nothing of the chagrin in the end, when we find that God really is both just and merciful, giving to all who stand with Him “all that he hath,”2 as the scripture says.'

Jeffrey R. Holland

Feb 11th:

Today I spent it helping my 4 year old battle stomach flu, while I didn't feel too great myself either. I also had a few things come up (with friends, acquaintances) that helped remind me that a) even when life seems tough, you never have it as bad as someone else. b) When life is tough, it usually means something good is coming your way, and c) when life is tough it means you are being refined, tested, and strengthened. Oh and d) I much prefer positivity in my life over the reverse.

To say the least I am very grateful this evening for my knowledge of God, and that I am one of His children. If everyone could realize this, it would make your confidence stronger, it will make you feel special and loved, and that no matter what comes your way you are not alone.

Feb 12th:

My poor Preston (4 yrs old) has been throwing up for 24 hours now. :( He is so pale and weak. It is so hard for a parent to watch.

Feb 13th:

To be on the safe side, I took Preston to be seen by a doctor last night to be sure he wasn't dehydrated. He was a good little patient, and thankfully he is fine. And today he much better, and playing with his trains.

Feb 13th:

Will said we were contacted by the Dr. Oz show to feature this clip of Preston as a baby. I'm not sure what the show's topic is, but perhaps something about crazy funny babies....

Feb 13th:

My hubby just booked his mancation with his brothers and brother-in-laws at Steamboat, Colorado next weekend. He has promised me there shall be no reason for us to up his life insurance policy while he is skiing. No aereal flips, cliff jumping over 10 feet and so forth.

Feb 13th:

Conversation with my boys just now, as we were discussing dreams and what they wanted to dream about tonight:

Me: "Taylor what do you want to dream about tonight?"
Taylor: "Bugs."
Me: "You want to dream about bugs? Really?"
Preston: "And if you see any bugs, mama, do not throw them away because they have mommies. You just take them to their mommies".

I guess if I get caught killing any more bugs I'm in HUGE trouble. Yikes.

Feb 14th:

This is for Will Thomas :) This was one of the very first songs I ever wrote when I started to compose music. I wrote this as a love song for Will (whom was my fiance at the time), and I performed this for him at our wedding reception.

Feb 14th:

Preston and his cute pre-school class this morning. Yes my kid is the tallest.:)

Feb 14th:

WOW. Note to self: Next time do NOT let the 2 year old eat Valentine's candy right before his nap, lest he shall remain awake and hyper kicking in his crib for an hour and a half, whilst yelling "Mama I awake! Mama I awake!".

As if I didn't know.

Feb 15th:

Just met with a personal trainer/life/nutritional coach. I'm excited to start doing weekly sessions with her starting next Wednesday. She is going to shake up my fitness routine and help me with my diet. I've been doing this on my own for over 2 years and have reached a point where I'm at a standstill and losing motivation. So I'm excited to get my bootay kicked!

Feb 15th:

This was my homemade Vday card from my 4 yr old. Yesterday afternoon, he came up to me very sad and said "Mama, but you didn't get a valentines present. I'm going to make you one." (This was before Will got home from work). Ten min later, he handed me this. He cut it out and everything. It truly melted my heart.:)

Feb 16th:

It's the same dilemma every weekend. Will is home and not working. Do we work on our house some more or spend time together? More often than not, we just want to spend time with Will over working on our house, which is why we have still not painted our house, finished the downstairs bathroom, put trim and baseboards on, replaced the interior doors, done the crown molding or wayne's coating, or done our yard. Ha.


It's nice that I can count on my Facebook to be my mini-journal when I feel like I don't have anything other to blog about than being sick :).

Oh and here is a video for you:

And this is the kicker. These are all of Will's FB posts in the last month:) He's been a bit busy at work...

Feb 16th:

Looks like I'll be staying local for my 100 mile trail race this summer as the lottery was held today for the Cascade Crest 100 Mile Endurance Run and I am #6 on the waiting list. Time to start training again.