Sunday, November 16, 2014

Riley Finn is 8 Months - and thoughts on having more babies

Today Riley turned 8 months old.

Time is flying WAY too fast for this mama and I just want him to stay little and immobile a bit longer. :)

Some things about Riley:

- Has 2 bottom teeth
- Is a cat napper
- Is so happy and pleasant to be around; doesn't really cry unless he is REALLY upset
- Is super chunky, I think he is 21 lbs?
- Blue eyes still.  Praying he keeps them. Got to have ONE blue eyed boy like papa.
- In size 4 diapers
- Eats solids including pureed baby foods, mashed bananas, graham crackers, baby banana crackers, and little bits of our food.  
- Still breastfeeds at least 4 times daily, and then tons in the evening and through the night.  Sigh.  Which leads me to....
- Not sleeping through the night and hasn't since he was about 4 months old.
- Sits up, but doesn't roll over or crawl. We think he is going to be a scooter like Taylor.
- Does not like his arms tied down or hands held or underneath a blanket.  This means he also DETESTS his carseat.
- Blue and orange look fabulous on him. :)
- Loves to laugh and watch his brothers, and gets pretty excited when they pay attention to him.
- Still a total mama's boy (and I love it).
- Is getting better with his pincher fingers
- Always has long fingernails and as many times as I clip them, he is pretty scratchy.
- Loves to play with anything plastic-y or loud and crinkly. Give him a piece of paper or a bag and he's entertained for at least a half hour (yes we keep an eye on him).
- Is super happy in the mornings and gives everyone huge smiles
- Still sleeps in our bedroom in the Rock 'n play but mama is finally ready to transition him to his crib - hoping that it helps him sleep more through the night (I think he is too big for his rock 'n play).
- Gets tons of compliments on his red hair.
- Lots of old ladies think he is a girl. lol.
- LOVES to eat.
- Still won't drink from a bottle.  But we do put water in a bottle and squirt it into his mouth.  He will not drink formula or breastmilk from a bottle either.
- Does not take a binkie. In fact anything that isn't a real nipple he just chews and and thinks it's some sort of joke.

He is a pretty happy little one and we are so lucky to have him in our family.

Thoughts on having more babies

I have been having sad thoughts lately about the fact that I can't have any more babies.  I KNOW. I totally never thought I would think this.

In fact, I remember being pregnant with Riley and telling Will on multiple occassions (sometimes through tears) that I "never, ever, EVER, want to be pregnant again. EVER."

Riley's pregnancy was so traumatic for me in so many ways. It was one of those "I know I need to be doing this but it is SO hard" things.  Getting through the 1st trimester when I had an irregularly shaped sac and the doctors told me that I would probably miscarry - ugh - all of the stress of each day just waiting to see blood or a heartbeat. It was hard.

And then getting through the 2nd and 3rd trimesters when I was dealing with depression so badly, and all of the usual body aches and pains I get with pregnancy as well.  Having hemorrhoids so bad that I couldn't even walk (YES that is a normal thing in pregnancy).  It was all, so very hard.  

But then he came.  And he cried, and then they laid him on my chest and it was the first time in all 3 of my deliveries that I was allowed to hold my newborn baby on my chest after a Csection.  He heard my voice and he stopped crying and just made these little lamb noises and put his head on me and breathed.  And I stroked the side of his head where his soft hair came down next to his ear, and I talked to him and tears rolled down my face.

And it wasn't hard any more.  It was complete joy.

And then my doctor took a while to sew me back up while I was bonding with this beautiful little baby I worked so hard to create, and told me "You should definitely not have any more kids.  Your uterus is in really really bad shape. I can barely even sew it back up, it keeps falling apart like crepe paper. Do you want me to do a tubal like we discussed if this happened?"

Will and I looked at each other.  It was decided for us.  There really wasn't a choice - I couldn't get pregnant again without the risk of a uterine rupture and killing the next baby and me bleeding to death.  So I had a tubal ligation. And then was sewn up.  All while holding my little Riley on my chest and nursing him.

It's now 8 months later, and he is THE sweetest baby.  Even on his bad days, on a scale of 1-10 of fussiness, he is only at a 1.  And maybe he might get to like a 4 on extremely bad moments, but it's like nothing.  Seriously.  He is so easy.

I've heard other moms talk about how they were baby hungry right after having a baby - and I thought they must be crazy. INSANE!! How on earth can you possibly be craving another baby when you are holding one on your lap right now? That you JUST gave birth to a few months ago???  Whaa...??

But I get it now.

It's the feeling of knowing your baby is growing faster than you want him to.  It's the feeling of wishing that he would just stay tiny a little bit longer because he is your last one and you know you will never get to snuggle a newborn again probably until you are a grandma.  It's knowing that even though your pregnancies were crap you would do it again if you could have all of these beautiful moments AGAIN.  It's hearing that your friends are pregnant again and more are on the way for them, but you are done with that phase.   No more baby showers. No more doctor appointments to hear heartbeats and see ultrasounds.  It's knowing that you are putting away the 0-6 month baby clothes never to get them out again, and are giving them away and it breaks your heart.

So yeah, our 8 month old still sleeps in our bedroom.  I still snuggle him EVERY SINGLE NIGHT from 7:30 until 10:00 or however long it takes for him to finally go to sleep for the night.  I love that he wants me more than he wants his Dad most of the time (sorry Will!).  I love that I can comfort him when no one else can. We go to him when he cries, and we notice every little thing he does that is new. We also notice all the things he is leaving behind and not doing anymore because he is growing bigger.


SO yeah.  I get it now.  And I also get why my mom and dad value SO much getting to spend time with our boys - because they miss their little ones too. 

I never thought I would be sad about not getting to have more kids.  I thought having to get my tube tied would make me so happy that I would never have to face the decision again of "Do we have another?".  But I am sad.  I will be okay, but I am a little sad.  

P.S. If anyone wants to be a surrogate for us, let me know. Haha. :) I'm kidding. Sort of.

P.P.S. I posted a new blog below about house hunting.

House Hunting on the Olympic Peninsula

Ok, so seeing how I haven't done ANY blogging since the end of September, it's obvious that I need to catch up on a lot of other things.

But since it is a little overwhelming to go back-blogging sometimes, I'll just start with the most recent.

We have been house-hunting.

Okay, well, let me say we have been house hunting since late summer.  So we are STILL house hunting.  We have a specific price range (pretty much anything below $400,000).  The homes that have everything we want (waterfront, detached garage, upstairs, 3+ bedrooms, large kitchen, large property) are of course out of our price range.

So we figure we need to find an in-between house - meaning one that doesn't have all of our criteria but will work for several years until we can get our forever dream house.

We really want to move to Sequim - where the community is amazing and the weather is usually sunny and there are beaches everywhere. However, all of the homes that we've looked at out there (that are in our price range, that is) are either 1990's ramblers (we don't want a 1-level home), or so structurally bad even with fixing up it still wouldn't be cute.


There is a house that we found not in Sequim (in Port Ludlow), which for those in the dark here, it's on the way to Sequim but further east by about 30 minutes or so.  It's not in the rain shadow so it does get the normal amount of Seattle rain (sad face), BUT....the house is kind of amazing.  It is our style.  It has 2 acres.  It has a yard that albiet neglected has all the plants there it just needs to be taken care of.  It is 3200 square feet.  It has 2 levels, a 3 car garage, a space for a music studio (a must!), a huge chef's kitchen, lots of space, open areas so you never feel crammed, a formal dining room, and actual laundry room (eek we've never had one!), 3 full bathrooms, and 3 huge bedrooms.  It even has a little outbuilding that we could turn into a play house for the boys. We could even get an outside DOG for pete's sake.


The house is $450,000.  

And while I know some of you think, well what is the big deal.  It's just we don't want a huge mortgage.  We want to get this baby paid off as soon as possible.  

The good part though, is this house is in foreclosure.  It's sad but the owner's husband died (they are an older couple) and the wife couldn't afford to keep it on her own. She tried selling it many times in the $600's and kept coming down in price, but eventually had to turn it over to the bank.

So we are HOPING that the bank will drop the price and then maybe just MAYBE they would accept a low-ball offer that would be closer to our budget.  BUT we still need to finish our current house and get it on the market.  Maybe by the grace of Heavenly Father, all of these things will happen right around the same time so that we can sell our house and get this other one bam bam bam.  (I can dream right?).

Yesterday we drove over to the peninsula to look at another house that is in our price range and same square footage, but it was awful.  Totally not interested. But we decided to come look at this one again.  This one I am just so in love with and everytime we come visit it, I feel AT HOME.  Like it's already our house...

Have a look...

I have to say that the grand staircase is my favorite feature.  I keep imagining Christmas time with garland and lights down the railing.

Fire place in the living room.

This is the living room - where the piano would go.

This is the view out the living room window...had to take it because it's what I would be looking at when I play my piano...

The house was built in 1996 and so some flooring and fixtures need updating, as well as the kitchen. BUT it's not terrible.  Like we could definitely live in it and make changes as we go.  The flooring in the entry I would make marble...

Kind of like this...

Or this:

Some more pics of the staircase and entry way...

 I thought about a wood floor entry, like this....

But I would want wood floor in the kitchen, and since there is a step down into the kitchen I thought it would be smart to have a different flooring in the entry so the step is more obvious and less accidents happen.

This is the back yard, and there is a water view of the Hood Canal.

This would be the guest bedroom (a.k.a. Riley's room until he is big enough to move into the boys' room).

This is the big bonus room above the garage that would be my music studio.  It's great because it's at the end of a hallway and away from everything else in the house. We would also turn a corner of it into a movie/media place with a couch.

This is the master bedroom, and it is HUGE.  I think we would turn some of those shelvings into a fireplace, and with cupboards so not everything is exposed.

The deck off of the master suite...water view. I think this is the most romantic master bedroom I've ever seen.  I can imagine Will and I sitting out on the deck after the kids are in bed and enjoying some alone time.

View into the hallway/stairs from master bedroom.

A blurry, but cute Riley.

Ok and those are all the pics I took, but here are some pics from the realtor's ad.


Dining Room

Master walk-in closet

This is the entry way to the front door

Living Room

Master bath

This is the kitchen, which I am really into white kitchens right now so this is awesome. Our current kitchen we designed ourselves, but I have always felt like it is too dark (we have red wood cabinets with black granite and red wood floors).

I would love to turn it into any of the following...with some new knobs, wood flooring, granite counter tops, and stainless steel appliances...

I really love the flooring on the next two pics...

Here is the exterior...


Water view from master suite


Master suite

There is also a family room, bathrooms, boys room, etc that I forgot to take pictures of.

Anyway, I know....we don't even have the house yet and don't even know if we will, but a girl can dream right?  I am trying to not get attached to it. I would definitely be heart broken if someone else came in and bought it before we were in a position to put an offer on it, but I know also that Heavenly Father will put us where he needs us and if it's meant to work out, then things will work out.

In the mean time, this week we are getting some new doors from Home Depot and painting them and hoping to install new doors upstairs in our current house.

After the new doors, then TRIM!

Ok bye!