Saturday, March 27, 2004

The First "I Love You"

There is always the question of "Who said I love you first?"

Well, the answer to this question would be Will. And then it actually took me a couple of weeks later before I answered him and said it to him.

Good thing I've kept a good journal entry of these events. I shall quote from those. :)

Sometime in early March 2004:

Several weeks ago Will was up here visiting me. We had a really long day at church because we had gone to a Marysville ward where my parents were speaking at a ward conference there. Then we went back to Everett, so I could go to Relief Society in my ward. This made for many hours of church. Will just stayed at my apartment while I went to RS, and then I came home afterwards.

Well that day, I didn’t have the best day in RS. (I was in the RS presidency at the time). I had conducted and made many mistakes, and I also made a comment during the lesson that I later realized may have been taken wrong by someone else and so I was really embarrassed about that.

Basically I was just kind of feeling like I couldn’t do or say anything right. So I came home from church kind of discouraged. I went over and sat on the couch next to Will and he gave me a hug. I told him about what happened in Relief Society. He took my shoes off and had me lay my legs across his lap and he started giving me a food rub. Is this guy perfect or what?

Then after I vented all of my frustrations to him, he paused and told me "Jenni, I love you".

That was the first time he had ever said it to me, and I didn’t know what to say back to him. I think I said “thank you”. How lame is that? He asked me if it made me feel weird that he told me that, and I said, “Noooo not at all. I just don’t know what to say back right now” or something like that."

Well, if that entry didn't just make you feel really bad for Will, then I don't know what would. Even now reading I feel guilty. Continuing on...

"Over the past couple of weeks, I have to say I have learned a great many things…The biggest being that I have also learned that I love Will.

When he was up here visiting this past week, I wanted to tell him so many times because I felt it inside of me. But I wanted to wait for a good time to tell him.

So last Sunday night, after church when it had gotten dark outside, we went for a walk around the neighborhood. There is a subdivision up above where my parents house is, where you can see a 360 degree view around Camano Island. You can see the lights across the water on Whidbey Island, you can see the mountains in Canada and you can see all the way down the Cascades in Washington. It was a very beautiful place. There was an empty lot up there on top of the hill where we stood and looked at everything. We joked around about how we were going to build a house there and we were standing in our master bedroom.

We were hugging each other and I knew I wanted to tell him that I loved him. So I said, “Will?” and he said, “Yes?”. I said, “I…love you”. But I said it in this totally girly childish bashful voice. Hahaha. He held me tighter and said, “Thank you…that means a lot to me…..” and then just right when I didn’t think he was going to say it back to me, he said, “I love you too”. Phew!

P.S. I had "loved" Will for a while, but this "I love you" was meant in a "I am IN love with you" sense. Not just the normal I love you.

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