I had a conference call earlier today with the writer/director and producer of the short film, "Minuet", that I have been asked to score the music for. It wasn't until today that I gave them the official "yes", after seeing the rough cut of the film this morning (even though we'd been in cahoots for a couple of months discussing everything).
I feel like a creator today. Creator of music, creator of life.
I have so many more deep, random, epiphanatic thoughts on this subject but I won't bore you.
But I will say this:
This morning I was emailing with a dear friend about music (she is a musician as well). I was telling her about how when I was in college studying the piano, that I spent a lot of grueling hours practicing to be as good as I was. I played some pretty stinkin' hard music that took a lot of effort and concentration to master. I competed and won. I performed as a soloist with ensembles and symphonies.
But none of that compares to the feeling I get as a composer. I get to create. And it is so far beyond the mind stretching and brain activity I went through as a mere pianist. Even though my music will never be as technically advanced as the Rachmanoniff 3rd Piano Concerto, it is far more challenging for my mind and body. I told her it was a lot like studying for the SAT but getting to enjoy ice cream at the same time. You feel like you are stretching your mind as far as it can go that it might possibly explode....but it's a good feeling as well.
I would say being a mom is like that too.
I was a single woman for 27 years, and then a wife for 3 years before we ever brought Preston into this world. Being a woman is beautiful, empowering, and unique unto itself...but to stretch my body's powers and capabilities to do what it was inherintly destined to do , even down to the inscription on my DNA....to bring life into the word, to create, is far more challenging and rewarding. Just like composing, it's like cramming for an SAT but getting ice cream at the same time. And just like how my compositions will never be as complex as Rachmaninoff, my days as a mother are much more simple than my days before being one. Yet, they are the most challenging and fulfilling by far.
Women are creators.